mitrovica

further from the bridge-

beloved,

the bridge itself divided

by a small square of green

they call the peace park-

even the trees here are waiting

for the sky to stop oppressing them

an image:

there is a pig frying on a scewer

while a man sits next to the heat

with a hose in his hand

pouring water aimlessly

onto the street

there is no water in Pristina

between the hours of 11 and 4 in the afternoon

further from the bridge

leaving the south behind

an image:

it must be an installation,

a work of art rubble of concrete

as if someone stuck their hand

inside the ground

to barricade the south

inside the south

and isolate the north

swastikas everywhere

i am a christian with a Serbian name

i am a christian with a non-Armenian name

i am a familiar kind of other, still

are we safe here?

we walk around the black cement barricade.

if rocks can be planted, these are planted rocks

by hands in resistance to loving

after a broken heart

(exploiting the heart broken)

beloved,

i tossed the blue lighter you gave me

to remember you by

into the Ibar river

while standing in the middle

of a divided bridge

as if there never was a dream

between us

i pray for the heart

to expand instead of contract

here where the weight of waiting

is too strong settled

on the edges of everything

an image:

beside the rubble of one

less wealthy mafia pushing back

against a more wealthy mafia

(wealthy enough to buy

the official status of belonging

to a false liberal world)

Putin sternly stares

out of a an old billboard

beloved,

we miscarried the future

with our greed and dissatisfaction

with our fears of consequence

from true change.

what did we want?

what did we want?

an image:

a group of women sit in black;

their waiting is the most loud

on their faces no longer the expression why

but when

when will the present come

to explain the past

and how can this happen

inside a now

where time has been repressed

even while little girls stare

with the answer clear as water

in their eyes:

what will happen to us

in this city they divide

over the body of women?

beloved,

i am still searching for a country

that can carry all

our healing.